Picture Perfect Memories

So as a photographer I am a big fan of taking pictures of everything. Sunsets, travel, the world, dogs… whatever. I photograph things that I find interesting and beautiful, like anyone else. With facebook being a part of everyday life we post our photographs daily of where we went, who we were with, and what we were doing. As I look at these endless photographs of people out at bars, restaurants, parties I can’t help but wonder, who are we trying to impress?

 ”Most of my friends spend more time uploading pictures on Facebook than they do actually living the scenes they’re capturing.” (Signe Markvard)

My friend Signe said this in a video almost 3 years ago but I was reminded of it again when I was at a Bar Mitzvah. I was watching all these people gather to take the typical photographs that you see at any event and I was thinking,  I bet these people can’t wait to get the photos on facebook so the world can comment on them. Its all about capturing the memories so we can prove to our FB friends that we are soooo fucking cool. Look how much fun we’re having!!!

I hear this phrase all the time, “Oh my gawd this pic is so cute, you have to put it on facebook!” Its like we go out just so we can look good and cool on our more important personas that live in a fucking computer. What happened to just having fun for funs sake?

The Death Of Photography

I am very serious about what I’m about to talk about. I think the future of photography is in serious trouble. While there is there an overwhelming amount of choice when it comes to cameras, there is one that is unfortunately the winner. That is the camera phone.

THE CAMERA PHONE IS NOT A SUITABLE CAMERA PEOPLE! Not even the best of the best like Iphones and Blackberrys. Using the camera that lives in your phone is a tragedy. Yes its very convenient and handy, but it looks like SHIT. People, you are ruining the memories of your children and dogs and that awesome snowstorm that just happened. Stop being a lazy ass and get yourself a camera and take some decent photos!

ALSO… YOUR CAMERA PHONE DOES NOT WORK IN DARK PLACES AND THE FLASH IT HAS LOOKS LIKE SHIT. I can’t tell you how tragic it is to see people try to use their camera phones in restaurants and then they look at it in confusion, its too dark!? Of course its too dark, the camera on your phone is not capable you ass. I see moms take pictures of their children with their camera phones and I feel sorry for them. You will not have the memories of your children being kids because there is a 3×3 tiny, blurry, dark picture on your phone.

Some people can actually get there pictures from their phones to their computers… and wow they even put them on facebook for the rest of the world to see. But the rest of the world does not care about your pictures. Sorry. These photographs are supposed to be for your own memories. Take your photographs with a normal camera and get your lazy ass to CVS and get them actually printed, and place them in a photo album, oh gawd how old fashioned.

But you wont do this. They will live in your computer or on your phone and then one day your computer will crash and your phone will get lost and all your photographs will be GONE. Bye bye memories of your children and your dog Fluffy who is no longer with us.

StumbleUpon

If you haven’t heard of Stumble you are seriously missing out. I thought stumbling was common knowledge but I’ve spoken to way to many people who have yet to experience the Internet through StumbleUpon.

Do you often get bored online? Are your Facebook friends not entertaining you? Do you feel like you have this thing called the Internet that you don’t take advantage of because you suck at surfing the web? Then Stumble is what you need!

All it is, is a button that you click over and over again and it takes you all over the Internet! Comics, videos, historical facts, beautiful photography, art, recipes, Wikipedia, games, and all the other useless but fun shit the internet has to offer. You can Like or Dislike things and customize it so it only takes you places that interest you. Its awesome! You can stumble for hours and learn and laugh and share things with your friend through email, Facebook, or even twitter.

You can download a toolbar which I recommend, or have a temporary toolbar pop up that will go away once to leave the page.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/

Prepare to be blown away! and thank you Vanessa Condy and Will Clune for introducing me to stumble like 3 years ago.

lines are for tools

I had a psychotic experience at Queens College yesterday… I go to buy a parking pass and I encountered the line from hell. This line was down the hall on the first floor, up the stairwell, and down the hall on the second floor. I seriously considered standing in this line until this girl came down and said “I just wasted 3 hours of my life in this line.” That’s when I said fuck this shit I’m outta here.

I do not understand why people torture themselves this way. “These are the people to wait overnight at Best Buy before black friday” (Kaley Dickinson). What the fuck is wrong with people??? I’m sorry but my life is just a little too important to be waiting on a line for hours. I’m not waiting on a line that wouldn’t be a line if competent people were working at the ticket office. Why aren’t people filling out forms while they’re standing on the line for 3 hours?!? No, lets give each person a form to fill out when they get there. You’d think that offices in a COLLEGE would be smarter than this.

Whats hilarious is that I’ll go to get a parking pass next week and there will be no line.

whaaaaat did you say!?!?

For the first time in a while I was curious to see what was going on in the news. I clicked on the MSNBC bookmark and poked around. Several tragedies as usual and stuff about politics I couldn’t give a shit about. I clicked on Health. Top story: 1 in 5 U.S. teens has hearing loss due to, surprise, iPods! Although “evidence is lacking” the specialists are speculating that ear buds are to blame for “a little bit” of hearing loss.

I find this extremely hilarious. I have a mild hatred for iPods due to the self alienation bubble they create. I did a project in college where I took photos of people strutting in Manhattan with their iPods… they did not even notice I was photographing them. Then I took these images and turned them into my own colorful iPod ads. I demonstrated how oblivious people are when they’re plugged into their iPods.

I always said that the volume people listen to those things will cause hearing loss. It’s not really a scientific revelation. Like tell me why people need to listen to their music so fucking loud? Do we really need to feel that groovy and let everyone around us tune in? Yea I totally will blast a song I like in the car, but not every song. Ear buds are like the dumbest shit ever. Yes we all want to look super cool with our white apple ear buds, but think about what you’re putting in your ears. Its going right in there, and if you blast your music you’re going to hurt something, duh.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38742752/from/toolbar

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1827159,00.html

A Note on Tardiness

Tardy (or tardiness) means to be late, slow, or sluggish

It really grinds my gears when people are late to things.  I can honestly say I’ve never been late to anything in my life unless I wanted to be or it was okay to be late. I’m always early. So I don’t see why other people can’t be on time. Do people just not care? Are they just stupid or lazy or both? If you have a job you get there. It is part of your job to be there on time! Not one minute late! Shit everyone should plan on being everywhere 15 minutes early so when life does happen you can have time to spare.

I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I’d never be tardy.

I honestly think people just don’t give a fuck. The “whatever” attitude is all too common. I wonder if it’s whatever when you get fired. But are people getting fired for being tardy? Not really. I know teenagers and 2o something years olds have semi serious jobs where they don’t get fired. What do they care? They don’t pay bills, they live at home, it’s just a summer job. Bad habits die-hard. Is mommy going to help you when you get fired as an adult for being incessantly late?

be patient my client

A patient is any person who receives medical attention, care, or treatment. The person is most often ill or injured and in need of treatment by a physician or other health care professional, although one who is visiting a physician for a routine check-up may also be viewed as a patient.

 client 1.  a person or group that uses the professional advice or services of a lawyer, accountant, advertising agency, architect, etc.  2.  a person who is receiving the benefits, services, etc., of a social welfare agency, a government bureau, etc.  3.  a customer.  4.  anyone under the patronage of another; a dependent.

These two words while similar are completely different. In the eyes of doctors nowadays they are apparently synonymous. A “patient” is now a “client”

DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THERE IS SOMETHING COMPLETELY FUCKED UP ABOUT THIS?!?!

Thank you American you just pointed your own finger at yourself, again. Apparently America is now the only country in the WORLD who advertises drugs on the television. I’m not sure if that is a fact but I wouldn’t be surprised. My body is a business in this country. They hope for me to have cancer, so then I can give them money. The paranoid person inside me thinks that a cure for cancer has already been invented. Cancer is too lucrative.

Clients. The word just reminds me of money. Only in this country where our health care is so fucked up do we change the age old term of patient to client. So whether you’re buying a new car, my client, or purchasing medical advice, NOTHING is free. Not even freedom.

God bless America, and our clients.